LIFES PRESSURES
I've got so much on my mind lately. It's been enough of a headache with the mortgage and car payments and the extra expenses I had to put on my credit cards, but the collection harassment is just too much. I wish I could go back to the days of not having to worry about any of this. I felt pressured to buy this house. What I really wanted to do was travel and live in various places overseas. I felt pressure to conform, though. I think all the financial problems came about as a result of not being honest with myself about how I want to live my life. The guy I did it all for didn't even wind up sticking around. We were supposed to share this place together. I spent all of my resources trying to make him happy and create a life together. I knew I should've listened to that inclination a long time ago that always seemed to tell me something about our relationship was off. The ironic thing is that he's doing the traveling now. I heard about his whereabouts through an acquaintance. Not only is he getting to travel, but he's getting to do it with the other girl he fell in love with. He's getting to have the life I want and I have to stay here and deal with the mess he left behind. I'm trying to deal with it all the best I can without running away from things like he did.